


Cloud Nine

by Fwizz101



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Kageyama Tobio is Bad at Feelings, Kageyama Tobio-centric, M/M, Mentioned Shimizu Kiyoko, Mentioned Tsukishima Kei, the awkwardness of a crush, wow i adore that 'kags is bad at feelings' is a tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 16:51:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18760501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fwizz101/pseuds/Fwizz101
Summary: In which a genius over-analyzes his emotions, because what else are you supposed to do with them? Especially considering that this is Kageyama Tobio we're talking about.





	Cloud Nine

Don’t assume that Kageyama Tobio doesn’t recognize the symptoms of the disease that is more commonly known as “a crush.” He’s not called a genius for nothing. If he wants to, he can learn anything non-volleyball-related in the universe. But does he want to? Absolutely not. He especially doesn’t care to learn about love-- or what watered-down form of love can exist in a high schooler’s emotionally-stunted heart. Especially not his own.

Love, in the sense of the amateurish emotion, is all around him. He sees the couples-- both the ones that cling to each other in public and the ones that walk quietly home, holding hands. Don’t assume that he’s blind to the hidden feelings of his teammates, either. He can see it. It’s not any of his business, though. Also, who cares what Tsukishima feels about so-and-so? Certainly not Tobio.

So what if his heart rate refuses to obey him? So what if he finds himself averting his eyes in the locker room? So what if he smiles giddily to himself when he’s alone, grinning at a stupid text message at the end of the day? He has better things to do and more to worry about.

Plus, generally, romance and volleyball do not intersect in the least. In fact, crushes seem to interfere with volleyball. And he absolutely can’t have that.

So, he teaches himself to resist. When his breath hitches on its own, he steadies it. When he thinks too much, he concentrates harder. The heat stops rising. The tempo of life eases back to normal. He tosses volleyballs; he doesn't toss in bed. Unless it's about volleyball-- but that's a different story altogether.

Besides, he doesn't need a lover. Lukewarm high school engagements are a waste of time. He might feel something-- he can at least admit to that-- capricious that isn't enough to commit to someone. Has he somehow convinced his subconscious that he needs to have a crush? Is he imagining his changed opinions? Does he ascribe his admiration to the wrong emotion? Whatever the case, Tobio is going to think and overthink until it goes away.

Oh, did he claim to be aware of his teammates' romantic feelings? That was a lie. There's one person whose unpredictability also applies to that kind of stuff. Tobio's heart hates him, because it's that person who sets his wretched chest aflutter… or whatever is supposed to happen. He doesn't know anything. He doesn't bother, remember?

Don't assume that that person doesn't notice him, either. It's stupid how easily Tobio gets caught. His face saves him face-- no one suspects a thing because he doesn't smile. The aforementioned Tsukishima snickers, but who cares about him. As discussed previously, Tobio has other things to think about…

Like how brilliantly Hinata Shouyou’s eyes sparkle when he spikes one of Tobio's tosses. The way he calls for the ball, the thrill of play in every syllable… Tobio could write poetry about it.

Yeah, he has a problem. But, like many in his grab-bag of personal troubles, he elects to ignore it until he can't any longer. Habit of distancing himself? Terrifying caricature of a smile? Difficulty giving compliments without tacking “stupid” to the end? Small matters.

Hinata reaches into the bag and forces the issue to the surface eventually. Of course he does.

“Your shoelace is untied,” he notes after practice, thumb hooked around the strap of his bag like a little kid.

Tobio makes an obligatory noise of acknowledgement. He crouches to fix it.

“You know,” continues Hinata, “I’ve never heard you talk about a girl before.”

In the past, Tobio would have made a snarky comment about how often he references Shimizu, but his hypersensitive mind jumps to conclusions. Does Hinata know him at all? His life is focused on-- is supposed to be focused on-- academics and volleyball. He has no desire for anything outside of those two things. Oh, how he wishes he wasn’t lying.

The girls at school want the superficial image of a relationship. They clamor for intimacy without the disaster that is sharing feelings, especially in Tobio’s case. Is that what his heart pictures for him? A girlfriend that’s practically a trophy, picked only for how much stuff she puts on her face? The thought of it acts as an effective pesticide for the butterflies in his stomach. He’s never thought about girls that way.

A ball of anger wells up in his chest, which pains him more than it provokes him. “Why would I?”

“You’re right, Bakageyama.” By then, Tobio has risen to his feet, so Hinata needs to look up to speak to him. Instead of staring too intently into Hinata’s eyes, Tobio finds himself admiring the curve of the bridge of his nose. As if that’s any better. “Do you not have a crush on anyone or something?”

Hinata has an unconscious way with words that makes Tobio stop to ruminate. He says things with such emphatic conviction, spinning it into reality. Wait, what is Tobio thinking? He knows what’s going on in his head, however much he denies it. He doesn’t need to reevaluate anything.

He’s much more articulate in his head, too. “It’s none of your business, stupid.” He winces, if only enough for him to notice.

Even so, Hinata grins. He really is the sun.

Can Tobio’s brain take a break for once? Can he have just one day without these impulsive thoughts? Is that too much to ask for?

“You don’t have to be embarrassed,” Hinata teases.

“I’m not embarrassed!” snaps Tobio, which sounds especially lame. His face might be burning. Who knows? Who cares? “I told you, it’s none of your business.”

“You can tell me!” He needs to start walking faster to keep up with Tobio’s increased pace, but he doesn’t hesitate.

Tobio is not proud of his reply. “No, I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“None of your business!”

When Tobio yells like that during practice, Hinata keeps bickering with him. This time, he settles into a nonchalant silence. The break in the conversation is barely a moment, though, because he doesn’t know how to shut up at the right time. “Okay!” He smiles that beautiful determined smile of his. “Tell me when you’re ready.”

They start talking about class or something afterwards. Tobio doesn’t remember. He’s preoccupied with the concept of readiness. Is he even ready to admit his feelings to himself? Does Hinata expect a confession, or is he just nosy? This is so complicated; he can’t believe there are people who enjoy being in love-- hey, hey, he’s not in love. He doesn’t think so, anyway.

Despite the hundreds of love advice columns, articles, and websites that exist, no one seems to know how to define love. It would be so much easier to take a diagnostic test and get it over with. Tobio never has it easy. Then again, he might not even want to know if he’s in love or not. If his feelings-- whatever they are-- aren’t reciprocated, there’s no point in having a crush at all.

He doesn’t want to lose the connection he and Hinata have already. Their quick is an essential tool for Karasuno’s victory in the future. He's not scared or anything. Don't assume that he wants to do everything in the name of selfishness. Is he being selfish? Of course, but he cares about the team, too.

He uses that kind of reasoning to stifle any other foolish thoughts. School and volleyball. Volleyball and school. School and giving Hinata reluctant high-fives; volleyball and heading home with Hinata walking his bike beside him. Giving Hinata a sip of his milk every so often. Taking a bite of Hinata's popsicle. Watching Hinata's mouth as he speaks, itching to lean forward and--

One day, Hinata links their pinkies as they leave practice.

Maybe Tobio's head implodes. He certainly isn't on the right plane of existence to be aware of it. Are they supposed to hold hands now? What? How? Why?

Is this what cloud nine feels like? Or is it cloud ten, because it’s Hinata? Is there a cloud nine-and-a-half? He feels like a bewildered child who has encountered his first idiom. This is what people write all those stories about; this is the experience that everyone longs for.

School and volleyball; the sensation of Hinata swinging their arms as they walk in sync. The sound of their quick breaking through a block, pounding as loudly as Tobio’s heart. An oh-so-kissable spot on Hinata’s neck.

“What are you looking at?”

Stupid. He was staring again. Come on, find an answer, genius. “You.” The instant it escapes Tobio’s mouth, he splutters. Not that answer!

Something breathy comes out of Hinata, like a wheeze. Seriously-- seriously? He’s laughing… being beyond embarrassing… and, somehow, resolving Tobio’s questions without answering them. It doesn’t matter whether or not he’s in love. Who cares? Certainly not Tobio, who has much better things to do.

An eternity later, Hinata’s chuckles die down. He slips his hand fully into Tobio’s. “Good.”

Tobio gets the feeling that he’s supposed to say something now. What is it?

“I like you.” Is that right?

Evidently so, because Hinata beams. “I like you too!”

Don’t assume that Tobio knows what to do next. He’s a genius, not an experienced player in the game of life. But he’s good at making things up as he goes, isn’t he?

He thinks a kiss would be nice.

Judging by Hinata’s reaction to it, he agrees.

**Author's Note:**

> Swell.
> 
> This is my first HQ piece that I've posted, so I hope it was a decent read!


End file.
